Updated: Sep 5, 2019
One of the first things every mindset coach teaches, when it comes to learning how to think right is to find gratitiude. You have to pay attention to the blessings you have already in order to receive more. But, when you're scared and angry...it's really hard. When you're in that place...it's often hard to find the things you can already be grateful for. For years I had tried and had minor and intermittent success with this. There were too many hurts...too much gone wrong to be able to hold on to it. About a month ago I had a very personal experience that rocked me. I felt the power of God...the universe...energy...whatever you call it in the most powerful way I've ever experienced (and I've had some crazy experiences). It was like God was holding my hand and showing me, "This is how it's done, baby girl. This is how you believe, again." I had been asking for help for a very long time and, despite my best efforts, I could not get there alone. The ouchies were way too deep to fix on my own and I knew it. I have kept notebooks and written every day for nearly three years straight without a break asking for help and writing down every inkling and every insight I had. I have been vigilant. I have petitioned powers bigger than me for help so much that I can't fathom another person being as committed. Then one day, I was tired and I said out loud while driving, "I give up." And I did. I let go of certain people. I gave up on certain things that I had believed were important. And for a few days, all I could do was cry. And then, while driving again I said to the air..."Please, help me let go." Right at that moment, a voice that didn't belong to me filled my head with words and thoughts and took over the steering wheel in my brain. "This is how it's done, baby girl. This is how you believe again." That next week was magical. I felt like I did before everything became so hard. And when I hit a difficult spot, I'd ask for help...and it was there. I knew what to think about what was happening. I could even see the benefit in the difficult things that were happening.
Suddenly there were amazing people and little blessings everywhere. I'd write them down so I wouldn't forget. The more I wrote..the more I noticed.
Start with the little things. They get bigger.
So, here's an example...a tiny bit of my weekend. Pay attention. They're everywhere. You'll begin to feel those little blessings.
1. I was walking into a store and I saw a woman walking a short distance behind me. It was Labor Day weekend and the parking lot was a zoo so I said, “It’s madness out here.” She laughed and I notice she had a bit of a limp, so I waited to hold the door longer than I usually would. She thanked me and I left to get what I needed. I was nearly done checking out when she came up to the counter and said, as I was having another lovely conversation with the cashier, “You waited for me...now I’ll wait and hold the door for you.” She was so grateful for my gesture she went out of her way to return the favor and then invited me to go line dancing with her and her friends.
2. I had the priviledge of sitting across the table from a little girl that reminded me so much of me as a child. I have always gotten along with kids...sometimes better than adults. They are so beautifully ready to play. She and I sat talking about how delicious our corn on the cobb was...the simplest of things, but for some, strange reason...I felt connected. She had a freckly nose (my mother would tell me they were sun kisses when I was little...tiny marks the sun left when it was kissing my face.) We ate our corn and laughed as she told me about school. It was just a moment...but it felt like being little.
3. I was at the store again (a different one). The lady in front of me was unloading a huge cart and noticed my son and I only had a few items. She started taking stuff off the belt and told us to go ahead of her. I was mortified that she was going so out of her way and told her "It’s really alright." She insisted. “Look how much I have!” She made room and continued to joke with us and laugh while we checked out.
4. I was at the store...again (3 boys). My bill came to $101 and change. I had a hundred dollar bill and I said, “I hope I have a dollar. I really don’t want to break my $10”. I couldn't find one so I handed the cashier the ten dollar bill. He said, “It’s okay! I’ve got the dollar and change.” My jaw hit the floor. Usually they’ll spot you a few pennies...but a buck and change?? What parallel universe had I stepped into? He looked at me and said, I'm sure you shop here all the time. It's the least I can do.
4. I headed to the Fort Bridger Mountain Man Rendezvous by myself for a fun day of adventure. Everyone there was so happy. Even though I'd gone by myself...I did not feel alone. One man asked if he could take my picture (which made no sense to me as I was not dressed in costume, but I took it as a compliment and went on my way) I ordered a BBQ brisket sandwich from a groovy little stand of hipsters and bantered w them about their decision to stand next to a hot grill in a tent on what felt like the hottest day of the year. They laughed. While I waited, the gentleman behind the counter brought me a piece of butcher paper with a huge piece of meat on it and said, “This is a taste of what you’re getting!” I looked at him and said, “Umm. You want me to take that whole piece? "Yeah!" He laughed and directed me to a shady place to sit with my food. I felt like the piece he gave me was big enough to pay for.
5. I was walking out of the event with a chocolate chip cookie the size of my face. A family was walking in with a little girl in a red wagon. She waved at me and yelled, “Hi!”
Having just shoved a giant piece of cookie in my mouth I waved and tried to say hi back to her. She waved and yelled again, “Hi pretty princess!” Again, I was taken aback as I was not in a costume. I looked at her mom. She laughed and just shrugged her shoulders. I laughed and said, “I’ll take it!” And the mom laughed back and said, “right?” Then the little girl and I waved until I crossed the street.
If you're not paying attention...these beautiful moments will go by unnoticed and you might wonder where all the beautiful, kind people in your life are. You might wonder where your blessing are. Pay attention. The more I have noticed...the more I have received.
And don't be afraid to ask for help from something bigger than you. You might be surprised what happens.